Do I feel my inner space as a place I can live in?

Certain emotions and thoughts can unfold into a wide range of sensations in our body, from very unpleasant to very pleasant, comfortable, or even pleasurable. But are we really able to live fully with this constant flow of emotions and moods that show up inside us every day?

We can notice that trying to reject a thought or an emotion doesn’t stop us from feeling its impact, whether physical or mental. On the contrary, rejection often pushes it, strengthens it, or keeps it stuck.

Inside us, emotions behave like fluids. Just as when you try to stop a stream of water and it always finds its own way through, emotions move within us until they find an outlet. In psychotherapy, people talk about “channeling emotions,” meaning not blocking or hiding them. This fluid quality allows emotions to be guided and directed.

Why are there emotions that disturb us?

Many of the emotions that bother us do so because of the beliefs we build around them, rather than the sensations they actually produce.

Most of these beliefs come from our past. Sometimes they come from the way we were educated; other times from feedback from our social environment, where we learned to ignore, block, or dismiss emotions in order to fit in.

Emotions are an intrinsic part of being human, and they play an important role in helping us adapt to changing situations. They also help us express what we feel and push us to move when we need change. But instead of handling them naturally, we often try to block them, suppress them, hide them, or force them in one direction to meet our beliefs or goals.

In this game of rejection and attraction, of suffering and pleasure, emotions become the main characters of our lives. This often disrupts their natural movement, and sometimes they can spiral out of control. When that happens, emotions are like a raging river, flooding us from the inside and spilling over onto those around us.

Beliefs and emotional management

Our thoughts and beliefs about emotions can limit us—not because of the natural role emotions play, but because of how we interpret or express them. Sometimes these beliefs condition us so strongly that emotions become unconscious. This can change our behavior without us even realizing it, trapping us in situations we don’t want to live through, but somehow feel unable to avoid.

When we lack natural contact and acceptance of what moves within our inner space, we develop rational mechanisms that allow us to stay, for years, away from emotional sensations we want to avoid. But even if we try to shut them down, emotions remain attached to us in one way or another, in our “inner home,” waiting to be expressed.

When a large amount of intense emotion is held back for too long, it impacts and alters the internal tissues and pathways through which it flows. Like water, emotions tend to stagnate and harden when they’re retained for too long, affecting the organs where they settle (TCM: emotions and meridian health).

When the cause of our discomfort isn’t outside

Sometimes we point to past experiences, or to the people involved in them, as the cause of our emotional discomfort. By doing this, we avoid looking at our own involvement or personal stance toward the experience. Unconsciously, we keep holding onto the situation that makes us uncomfortable, uneasy, or hurt. This attitude prevents emotions from flowing freely within us.

Without realizing it, we reinforce the power of our emotions every time we replay the situations that triggered them. We justify our discomfort based on what happened or on someone else’s actions, and we wait to regain balance only when the “responsible” person fixes the situation.

Instead of rebalancing us, this position can keep us stuck for a long time, living with “stored” emotions that need some form of expression. Sometimes these emotions come out in situations or with people who have nothing to do with their original cause. This can create unnecessary conflicts and uncomfortable situations that need to be resolved again—outside our inner space.

Effects of prolonged tension on our health

Emotions that don’t flow properly can stay trapped for a long time. This can affect the body in many ways, causing health problems related to blood circulation, blood pressure, and breathing.

Our internal organs can be affected when they don’t receive steady, fluid blood flow and oxygen, or when they can’t properly eliminate the byproducts of vital physiological functions. If emotional impacts are very intense, the damage can be more immediate and deeper.

On top of that, defensive or aggressive attitudes that come from poor emotional management constantly stimulate our sympathetic nervous systemThis can disrupt the balance between muscle tension and relaxation, between activation and rest, between beta and alpha brain activity. Sometimes the anxiety caused by this overstimulation can disturb us and affect the balance of our nervous system, negatively impacting important functions like reasoning, digestion, sleep, and rest. Over time, sustained anxiety can also interfere with our personal, emotional, and work relationships, and may lead to dissatisfaction, depression, psychotic episodes, and more.